Love Actually

I'm reading Dallas Willard's "Restoration of the Heart" again. This will be the second time. Actually, if you count all the times I've had to re-read certain phrases or paragraphs, I'm probably closer to 20-25 times. That Willard...sure makes a person think. But I love when an author makes me go, "huh?".

So what is my spiritual side and how does it affect my actions and life? Willard says that "spiritual formation for the Christian basically refers to the spirit-driven process of forming the inner world of the human self in such a way that it becomes like the inner being of Christ Himself." Look into that and be scared. The inner being of Christ led Him to hang out with prostitutes, have dinner with crooked government employees, touch the lepers, and eventually die a horrible death...willingly. And my goal is to be more like Him everyday...what? Seriously? Do I really want to tackle that challenge?

Yes...yes I do. And it scares me. According to Willard, "the degree to which spiritual formation in Christ is successful, the outer life of the individual becomes a natural expression or outflow of the character and teachings of Jesus." I'm not even close. But I have this longing for my inner life to become like the inner being of Jesus. And it's not about doing good, although that is an outcome. I want to love like Jesus because I deeply love Him, not because I want to be like Him. Does that make sense? I don't want to do good just because I'm trying to be more like Him. I want my love for Him to somehow work it's way out of me into my everyday life.

My battle with cancer drew me into a relationship with Jesus that was deep and vibrant. Most of my prayers weren't answered, at least not the way I wanted them to be. But that was really the beauty of it. I learned to love Jesus more deeply just because. Not because of the miraculous way He had healed me.

So is it possible for me to love others...just because, not for any other reason? Just because...no strings attached. Not so I can gain something from them or so that I can say, "Hey Jesus, look at me, I'm loving like you." Love, pure and simple....well, probably not always simple. Willard says that trying to act lovingly will only lead to despair and to the defeat of love. It's taking God's kind of love into the depths of our being through spiritual formation that enables us to act lovingly.

God's love in the depths of my being...I like it.